Finite Happiness

As I watched her giggle,
in that carefree way a child shrills
without hesitance or self-awareness;
with the infectious glee
that flares one's nostrils,
and forces out a laugh
no matter how stoic one's self pride is determined to be,
I realized that I was immortal.

Her laughter triggered the cognizance
that all moments prior to that one did not exist.
That all moments in my future plans did not exist.
And that there,
with the other children,
all amplifying the same insouciant laughter;
their hearty ha's heating the small room,
we were enveloped in a moment of finite happiness.

In that one moment of communal gaiety,
everything outside of it did not exist.
There was no suffering, no sadness.
No regret or doubt.
No rushing or watching the clock
because there is no time outside of our time.
In that one moment we were where we were
because there exists no other place to be.

I became aware that no other moment than the present exists.
Sure, the present is ever-changing
but in its inconsistency the present is always telling me that I'm here.

Conundrum

I don't miss you 'cause you never go away

I don't long for you, you are always around

Never feel alone 'cause in my heart you  stay

No risky passion stemming from solid ground.

Our love intertwined into one will not fray
Together as one your heart and mine resounds
Never at a loss 'cause you're a part of me
Together as one, as lonely as can be.

Chastity Belt

Love's one of those things where the harder it's gripped,

its light's suppressed and constrained to sedation.

It's not to be ridden on an ego trip,

bloodied or bought into subordination.

Love's not meant to be caged or ruled by the whip,

locked up from the world in false preservation.

A bird with clipped wings cannot choose where to fly

Selfishly held by force, heart weeps for blue sky.

How to Mend a Heart

Love's Evolution, Part 2

What does eight years look like?

Secure.
The sun rises and the sun sets.
Room for you in a warm bed.
A hand to hold,
A safe place for your heart to rest.

Memory.
Someone to see how far you've come;
To remind you when you forget.
An extension of your mind,
Purger of regret.

Growth.
Steadfast and solid but without restraint;
Soul-reaching roots to keep from getting carried away.
Branches free to reach for the sky,to be nourished by the sun, moon and stars.
Stretching, climbing, pushing you to go far.


Hope.
The future in a chubby, little face.
Comfort brought from an embrace.
Love reconfirmed with every kiss.
There's always hope when love is the basis.

So what does eight years look like?
I cannot finitely say.
Today holds only a semblance of yesterday.
Expansion and contraction, an infinite, ever-changing dream.
Eight years is defined when I look at you and you look at me.

A Haiku for Friends in Love: Jodie & Damian

Two leaves aflutter,

On a breeze dance together

Float to forever.

Love Submerged

Betwixt the two we swim to love
as rivers swim to sea.

The currents guide us to and fro
and into trenches deep.

I am pulled into the dark
I know not what lies beneath

But with you, at my side
Underwater, I can breathe.

Tears For You

What a humanizing feeling,
to shed tears for you;
to experience pain
to be weighed by the truth 
that I may never see you with your eyes open again.

A volcanic stone scraping my throat,
pushing its way up in a flood of tears,
pushed down,
down,
way down,
because if it comes up I might drown.

But where some go to sleep,
you stayed awake
Body damaged but with your mind in place;
enough to feel guilty that your parents will see you this way.

I shed tears for you.
Through your suffering I witnessed grace.
Hoping to be spared if it is ever my husband, my daughter, or me in your place.

I shed tears for you,
because your life went this way
Because there is more hope in a wheelchair than a box buried away,

These tears for you are tears for me,
a liquid manifestation of my fragility.
Forcing me to face the fact
that in an instant the life I've created will go blank.

A new stage, a new clean page,
a new perspective on life through unwelcome change.
Are your dreams the same when you've seen what you seen?
Do all the things you found important continue to be?

Your life rolled over and
pieces of it have been left behind
Darkness and fear tucked into the creases of crushed metal,
cleaned up and towed away,
to be stored in a place where you don't need to see it again.

You've been Reborn through shattered glass,
Reincarnated in battered flesh,
Reawakened in an outpouring of love--
My dear, you have been blessed.